Japan’s military painted Homura on one of their choppers omg
“When I felt him curl and flex, a fierce wail from deep in his chest telling me he was cumming once more, I was lost. His body begged me to release within him, I was powerless to resist and rose to meet the crest of bliss that crashed over me howling a long, almost pained mess of syllables and jerking violently against his slender, delicate body. He entwined himself with me, kissing me as I dropped into alternate and almost unbearable consciousness, tears that would have been humiliating yesterday christening the lovers bed we shared and admitting to the hopelessness that slew me slowly inside and out.”
50 Shades of Grey (via kaley)
“‘I didnt know you were a virgin Vee.’ i said as i was moaning.
‘Shut up lol.’”
If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
mom, dad, im roosterteeth
the bible said adam and eve not adam and swiss fucking cheese
new feature: if you post “google” three times in a row, yahoo sends a team of assassins to murder you in your sleep
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
omg you guys I just got this email wtf???
1. That’s Comic Sans
2. Reblogged is misspelled as rebloged
3. The Cumber Collective will not stand for this
my favorite show is sherlock starring bonkadonk clamberdouche and morgan freeman
SO I WAS AT STARBUCKS RIGHT AND I SAW THIS OLD MAN SITTING ALONE AND DRINKING HIS LITTLE CUP OF COFFEE ALL CUTELYI WAS LIKE AWW SO I WROTE THIS AND GAVE IT TO HIM
HE WAS SO HAPPY I WANTED TO CRY OHM YGOD
OHMGDFKSJAH HE JUST FCKGNS BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK AND PUT A PENNY AOF ON IT I CNSDKFA FUCK IM OGING TO CRY IN STARBUCKS HE BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?